I might be getting old

I'm not sure how it happened but I think I might be getting old. The interesting part of this is it has happened fairly quickly, that's if I'm right of course.

Because of many injuries suffered by evil motorcycles, a few of which suddenly turned on me when I least expected it I now live with lots of aches and pains. I've been aware of these aches and pains for a long time, but most of that time they have lingered in the back of my mind; and have been easily enough put to rest by practising physical therapy at home, the occasional prescription medication, and the often attempted "drowning " of the discomfort courtesy of one of my favorite dark lagers, or maybe a good Merlot.

Lately none of that has worked, use it or lose it is what they all say, and I'm trying, believe me. The other day I thought maybe I needed to have a good talking to with myself, so I looked in the mirror so that only "eye contact honesty" would be acceptable. This eye to eye contact was startling to say the least..Who is this older man looking back at me? For a moment I turned away thinking it must be someone else's image, but it was me..

At a recent meeting I attended I starting daydreaming about things I refer to as "last time was the last time". An example of this as Alex would say on Jeopardy is a "new car". I'm old enough now that although I have bought many new cars in my life there probably will not be another. I am much more aware now when I visit a friend that it might possibly be the last time we will visit. I think about the last time I visited the cemetery where my mom is, and yes it's been awhile, much to long actually. I sincerely hope that the last time I was there is not the last time I will be there. Same goes for my dad.

Those motorcycles that have hurt me so many times were always off road bikes, and most often the injuries were the result of my own inability to control the beast. I take full responsibility for every crash I ever suffered. What I know is that leading up to each crash I was having fun, and as soon as I recovered I went back to it and had fun again. No regrets! What concerns me now is how to tell those people I enjoy riding with off-road that I'm near the point of the last time being the last time.

Personal responsibility is a must in what we call dual-sport riding. often times the rides are multi day requiring camping equipment, motorcycle repair equipment not to mention the ability to use it all accurately and swiftly. Think about telling a group of macho men riders, all younger than yourself that you must find some flat open ground space each morning and go through a stretching ritual absolutely essential to being successful in (for starters) being able to get your leg over the bike without either tipping it over or throwing your back out which would require someone setting your tent back up for you and waiting out the spasm episode for a day or two. If you've guessed at this point "it ain't happening" then you have it right.

So you must make a decision, or the decision might be made for you. Example; losing the privilege to drive an automobile. Do you at some point say this time was the last time, or do you angrily continue to jeopardize everyone in your path until someone else says enough is enough?

So i guess what all of this adds up to is appreciation of everyday, and of everything that is important to you. There are those that say life isn't over until it's over; that you may step off the curb young and healthy and be run over by a bus.However with that all said the possibilities of each thing you do being the last time you will do that grow exponentially each day.

What this is all about is appreciation not sorrow. Enjoying each day in these "golden years" (God I hate that term!, is much like surviving cancer, which by the way I know about first hand, it is about rediscovering life and each precious moment, all the good things, all the beauty, certainly not the 6 o'clock network news, which may "inform you" as many say is important, but will also stress you out will nothing but the bad news of the day. At this age I prefer good news, and as much as I can get.

I'd like a wonderful story about a wonderful person accomplishing an incredible feat to be the last time I ever hear the news.

So each time you do something you consider important do it as if it may be the last time you will do it, and live in the moment, take it with you, hold it near, and if it is the last time, your last moment, well now you see what I mean, how much better can it be?.

Cancer Patient Navigation

When I first decided to get involved as a facilitator for a Cancer Support Group I didn't think it would be to difficult or time consuming, I was wrong on both counts. Advertising the group and getting the word out by posting flyer's, approaching our Local Cancer Treatment Center, Radiation Oncology, various doctor's offices and media exposure took a lot of thought, time and effort.
Once we got going I was often concerned we wouldn't have anyone participate and other times I was amazed at the turnout.
Despite having the backing of the sponsoring hospital, St. Joseph Regional Medical Center and the local Livestrong Army of the Lewiston/Clarkston Valley often our turnout is as few as three or four.
Amanda my co-facilitator always tells me not to worry or get stressed out, that helping just one or two folks is certainly worthwhile. She of course is right, yet I still think of all the people living with cancer in this valley. I think of those recently diagnosed, those that are going through treatment, and those that have finished treatment but still have cancer in their thoughts on a daily basis. It is these folks along with there family, friends and care givers that we are concerned about.
As Lance Armstrong would say, I am fulfilling the obligation of the survivor. Only a person that is going through cancer or one such as myself that has survived truly know what the "journey" is all about.
When we get together as a full group we have the knowledge of the entire journey from the beginning to the present, the decisions we have made along the way, how we lead our lives, how our lives have been affected, and what we do differently.
We have had members that return for each meeting, some that come once in awhile, several that have come for awhile and not returned, and some who have lost their battle, yet still remain in our thoughts and prayers. Each time we have a meeting, and it gets underway I close my eyes for a moment and think of those people, who they are, what they meant to us, and how important what they taught us is.
It is difficult for me to think that for every minute we meet someone loses their battle with cancer and three or four new cases are diagnosed. It never stops, it goes on 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. it is indiscriminate, it strikes everywhere from the young--our beautiful children to the seniors in our society. Each and every individual has a story to tell. Part of the Livestrong Notebook has a booklet with Stories of the Survivors, wonderful stories that offer hope, stories of strength and courage. Then there are the unpublished stories the ones that end with a long heroic battle with this unrelenting disease.
In addition to the Livestrong Support Group I'm now learning about Patient Navigation, and actually working with just a couple of group members requiring this type of assistance. Patient Navigation to me is entirely different than my role with the Support Group, and most importantly and difficult is that it takes me inside the story. I am no longer a spectator, I become a part of the story, living what the patient and their family lives day by day. Often times I will tell you it's the toughest, most emotional thing I have ever done, other times the rewards are enormous.
This last year or so I've been involved with the Support Group and with Patient Navigation has taught me so much more than just what I've read in the guides/textbooks and on-line courses. It has taught me about the incredible strength of the people living their lives each day with cancer. It has taught me about the strength of their families, and how they get through each day.
There are many "wishes' that I have in this life of mine, some are selfish, many are not. At the top of my list for the future is that my wife's beautiful little grandchildren will grow up in a world where cancer is no longer a killer but a disease that we deal with as we live our lives, and that someday in the future maybe their own grandchildren will not know the word cancer.

Can you imagine a world of the future where a child walks up to his/her mom and says mommy what is this word cancer I found in my book, mom replies "that is something people use to get, but not anymore".
In the meantime over 600,000 folks will lose their battle this year in the US alone, and over 2 million will be diagnosed. I feel the "responsibility of the survivor" to help as many as I can through this difficult journey.

Cancer

Once in awhile I just get worn down by the word cancer. It is on the news, it is always in the newspaper, it is in the fiction and non-fiction I read, and tonight I'm reading about it in the "The Kite Runner", a book I'm reading now, a book I recommend to everyone and anyone. If you have ever felt just the tiniest shred of bigotry or hatred in yourself then read The Kite Runner; and it will be gone.

Cancer wears me down, but it also makes me think of how strong all you people are, you sufferers, you survivors. You are the people that will allow us to get from where we are now to where we must eventually be. It is because of the suffering of your grandparents, fathers, mothers that we have come this far, yet we have much ground to cover to gain, to gather momentum in this fight, this battle we wage.

Cancer wore me down today, the words, the feeling of hoplessness I read in The Kite Runner, yet I know this; we have made progress. I have said the following many times but feel the need to repeat it again now.
My wife has three lovely wonderful, and very young grandchildren; my wish, my prayer, my dream, my hope for them is they will someday be questioned by their own children and grandchildren; and the question will be "what is cancer grandma" , and the answer will be "it is something people used to get, but that was long ago" ,
it is like war, something people used to do but don't do anymore. War and cancer were a long time ago".

Democratic Caucus

Last nights democratic caucus in my little town had an incredible turnout. While elections in the past have had 100 or so show up this caucus had 500 or more. Even more impressive were the number of high school and college students in attendance.

The reason why, just my guess is the inspiration Barack Obama has brought to this campaign.

Most of the young people last night were on the Barack end of the room.

During the course of the evening "standard procedure' was followed which included several speakers each allowed 2 1/2 minutes each. To my surprise the majority of the speakers were young people. Although I applaud anyone who get's up and speaks there mind to a crowd one young man stood out above the others. With a strong secure voice he held the attention of everyone in the room. His candidate he stated is Barack Obama, his reasons why as well as his facts were dead on accurate, he even managed to respond to some earlier attacks from the Hillary side as to what his plans really are. In the end this young man swung many of the undecideds over to the Barack Camp.

My message to anyone reading this that hasn't voted in the past because of age or interest is vote this time, and vote Democrat. To the young people inspired by a fresh new candidate with so much charisma I say don't abandon the Democratic Party and don't abandon the election if he is not successful in getting the nomination. If it isn't Barack then it needs to be Hillary in the White House. We need so many things to change in this country, the war needs to be ended, we need health care for everyone, and we need to be concerned with the environment. It will take a Democrat to get it done.

So one last time I say to the youn people, you are the future of America, it is your obligation to participate in electing the person to this high office that will best represent the future of America and restore our credibility and respect throughout the world.

movies

Should add "The Color Purple" to the movie list...


Cats would be up closer to the top of my list:)